


The flutter of a glass butterfly

by Elegancecity



Category: None. - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elegancecity/pseuds/Elegancecity
Summary: ‘Don’t you want to…?’My goal is to escape. My purpose is to understand. Knowledge is my power. Deceit is my tool. I control, I manipulate, I persuade and you will never know when I do mean my words. I know myself, I keep track of everything. The only uncertain thing is him. The only mystery is my true nature. I’ll use you and I’ll break free. I’m on the edge all the time.But you seem so calm, so laid-back. No stress, no purpose. I’d like to achieve that....Welcome to my type of Wonderland.





	The flutter of a glass butterfly

I

‘’ Shhht …go to sleep and tomorrow when you wake up, you’ll be a better person’’

I wake up once again in the same spot, in the same reality I’m used to live .I can’t seem to open my eyes, nor move my hands and I can hardly breathe .It smells like blood and urine ,it feels like someone is just chopping off small pieces of me, waiting for a reaction from this dead body .But suddenly I can open my eyes, I regain the complete control over my weak body.  
I see light, cracking through the darkness and slowly my vision is adapting to the beautiful painting that lays before my eyes. A forest, trees with blue and violet leaves and weird, small creatures looming and observing me with their black eyes.

I stand up, retrace my steps and quickly look around for something to use as a weapon.

‘’Hey, don’t you dare to harm my creatures! I worked a lot to make them look so realistic and dreadful.’’

‘’I think your view on what’s realistic is a bit deceptive, Erik.’’ I said and took a glance at the tall boy standing behind me. Why did you take me here?

‘’I want to show you something I’ve been working on. They’re humans. .at least they should be and maybe they could help you remember.’’

‘’You still haven’t given up on this, have you? I’m not sure if it’ll help’’

‘’It takes nothing but bits of my mind to make them. It’s not a big deal. If it doesn’t help, I can either kill or befriend them. Now follow me please.’’

Erik takes my hand and guides me through the forest. I admire the faded colors of the trees and sigh, trying to recall the events that had taken place before I woke up in this dreamy space. I had an argument again, didn’t I? Or perhaps they found out something. I hope not, that’d put an end to my escapism. I’d waste all the time observing and pleasing people just to get those items. I still need my teddy bear and a paper clip, besides anything that might come in handy at some point.

‘’Is my little Coria stressed? How about I pour you a nice cup of tea? Or are you into coffee? ’’laughed Erik, trying to tease me as always.

‘’No need to bother. I’m craving for a soda though. I need all my energy to get those two items.’’

‘’Hey, it’s not as if your life is depending on them, right? Or is it?’’ he smiled and stopped in front of me. Are you ready for the big surprise?

‘’You spoiled it after five seconds of conversation, but sure I’m ready to see one of your biggest creations.’’

‘’Alright, close your eyes for ten seconds! ’’he giggled, obviously excited and proud.

I count to ten then open my eyes. Two little kids, a girl and a boy, looking like tweens are playing with sticks and laughing…just like…

‘’SOO what do you think? C’mon, go and talk to them! ’’said Erik and pushed me.

I walk slowly, almost tip toe as not to scare the children. Just as a predator, I choose my victim, the chocolate haired boy and when I get close enough I put my hand on his shoulder.  
‘’H-hey little one! How are you?”

I wait for a reaction but nothing happens. The girl is staring dead into my eyes, and for a second I hear just white noise. Static noise, echoing in my empty head. I try to call out to Erik, but I can’t even hear my own voice. The chocolate haired boy is staring at me too, but he has no facial expressions.

A black hole instead of a face, a chaotic scribble mixed with blood, and two white circles as eyes. I’m frighteningly looking at it, losing the control I had over my body. Suddenly, its head explodes and thousands of cockroaches and green larvae are haphazardly climbing on my body, biting me, pinching and belatedly waiting for me to snap.  
I fall to the ground, struggling to get them of me, but they’re too many and too fast, I can feel them crawling under my skin, squirming and itching. I desperately scream for Erik, but he’s not here anymore, neither the other kid nor the forest and the creatures, just me and the bloody body of the larva boy in pure darkness that’s consuming me. I fall into oblivious, having no perspective or strength to move.  
I feel the insects eating me, the same feeling as first and the sweet smell is gone. I’m alone again, the horrible odor is back and I can’t seem to keep my eyes open anymore.  
After hours of nightmares and torment, I finally wake up in my hospital bed, in the old and uncomfortable white sheets stained with tomato soup. Right next to me, sitting on a chair, scratching his head and holding some papers is...a person that I don’t really recognize.

Usually, there’s an old lady who’s been taking care of me since I arrived in this “funhouse”. She had a really annoying habit of braiding my hair and feeding me enormous amounts of tomato soup every time she got mad at me. Been here for only 5 days and I puked that expired soup almost every night. I’m starving and my body is dehydrated.

‘’Oh, you finally woke up. Hi, I’m Ethan. I’ll be taking care of you from now on. he smiled and put his papers on the table. I bet you’re hungry. Why don’t we have a little chat while I’m preparing your breakfast.’’

He’s tall, but he doesn’t seem to be weighting more than an average teenage girl. That means I might be able to stand a chance in front of him. Maybe even outrun him if necessary. Taking into consideration that he might even suffer from malnutrition, if I could be able to gain some weight and some muscle, I won’t be an easy target for him.  
I took my time to observe the strange boy, without realizing that he asked me a question. I quickly think of something to say, before he gets mad.

‘’I’m Coria Yvette. What happened to the old lady that usually took care of me?’’

‘’Oh, Ellen? ...She had a heart attack last night. Unfortunately, she’s not with us anymore.’’

‘’I’m sorry to hear that…’’

I’m not. Natural selection affects us all in one way or another. Eventually, we all die and turn into dust.

‘’I’ve looked over your medical papers. Your age is 17 and you were born on 13th July, right?’’

‘’Yes.’'

‘’It also says here that you’re suffering from Schizophrenia, severe depression and D.I.D.’’

‘’And there are several fake news going on about how global warming doesn’t exist at all, but it’s not wise to trust everything we read, Ethan.’’

I spoke my mind without thinking of the consequences. I should’ve been more careful and calculated. Just because he looks younger and friendly, that doesn’t mean having the guts to talk like this will be a good approach in the future. 

‘’Then I bet your presence here is nothing more than a mistake, right? But since I’m not the wisest, I’m definitely wrong about it’’. he said in a sarcastic tone and grabbed a soup can. Well…that’s expired.

‘’I don’t think the taste of it would be any different if it weren’t expired.’’ I whispered and cringed at the thought of eating that red jelly-ish soup again.

‘’Well…I think I have some protein bars and a sandwich in my backpack. You’re not a picky eater, are you Miss?”

‘’I’ll eat anything, just don’t torment me with that tomato soup ever again.”

He smiles at me and grabs his backpack, trying to find the protein bars and the sandwich. I notice the papers on the table, hold together with a paper clip, exactly what it’s missing from my items list. I need it so I’ll be able to unlock doors or cabinets with it. Indeed, there’s a slightly high chance of failure, but I need all the odds possible to be in my favor in this circumstance I’m in.

‘’Found ‘em. Here, have a nice meal, Coria.’’

I took several small bites from the sandwich, trying to enjoy the taste as long as possible. I’m not wearing a straitjacket, because I wasn’t aggressive or violent with the therapist and the nurses. It would’ve been in vain anyway. Considering the miserable state I’m in, the probability to get out and call for help or even fight with one of the nurses…they’re all null.  
What I need now is a plan, some patience and a normal weight. I also need to uncover the purpose of this place and what they’re going to do with me.

I remember that yesterday they took me to a room filled with chairs, doctors and medical utensils. However, I have no idea what they did to me or any other details regarding the aspect of the room and the experiments. I guess they drugged or they tested some chemicals on me. That’s a shame. I’m going to miss all the times I had my sanity together.

''Is something the matter?''

‘’Since I’ve arrived here I somehow lost the notion of time…”

‘’Don’t worry, it happens. Today’s 24th November.’’

‘’My mother’s birthday…’’I whispered to myself and looked out the window.

I bet all my money and organs that I’m here because of her. She did something, she got into some sort of deal to get rid of me. I remember coming home from school one day and she prepared me lunch for the first time in ages. I should’ve known that she was nice with me just to hide her true intentions. Maybe she drugged me. Or she put rat poison in my food again.

‘’Haha, you know what’s cool about the people from this place? You all analyze a lot the information you receive. It’s good to think about it, but don’t overdo it. A date is still a date as long as you don’t give it too much importance and control.”

‘’You’re very sociable for a nurse in a mental hospital or whatever this place is. Don’t you think you should analyze that a little?’’

‘’And you’re a little sassy for a 17years old in an asylum. Don’t you think you should be nicer with your ‘’nurse’’? After all, I’m the one who decides if you’ll eat expired soup tonight or not. I’d be a good child if I were you.’’ he said and pinched my cheek.

That bastard.

After a few hours of small talk and ‘’sassy attitude’’ as he calls it, I finally managed to get some time alone because he left to get me some real food. He locked me inside, so I can’t get out and walk down the hallway as I please. I can get that paper clip though, he was dumb enough to leave the papers on the table. I get up and inspect the papers and they’re all blank, just one paper with a drawing of a boy who I assume is Ethan and a little girl with blonde short hair.

‘’Does he have a sister? And more importantly, why did he leave the papers on the table? Is this some sort of test?” I asked myself and put the papers in the original order. I take the paper clip and hide it under the sheets, then I finally get some rest.

I close my eyes and when I open them once again, I’m in the same old forest with blue leaves and small creatures lurking in the darkness.

‘’Erik must really like this place…’’

I continue walking, keeping an eye on the beings around me and also trying to find Erik. After a couple of minutes, I spot him sleeping in a tree, with a bandage around his head.  
‘’You found yourself a bad time to be napping, mister.’’ I said and hit him with a stick.  
He suddenly woke up and just in a blink of an eye, he fell from the tree, losing his balance and kissing the ground.

‘’Such a sweet way to wake me up, Coria.10/10 for that. ’’he said in a sarcastic tone and dusted himself.

‘’That was just simple payback. For leaving me alone with that ugly dead body of the larva boy.’’

‘’I’m sorry, but trust me I tried. I lost it for a second and couldn’t hear your voice anymore. I was scared too, I thought you’d wake up crying and …it was a bad idea to create them.’’ he whispered with a shaky voice, not keeping eye contact with me.  
I get closer and give him a hug.

I’ve known Erik for so many years. I was around 12 when I met him and ever since that day we’re a team, just like …brother and sister? ... N-no that’s not it, we’re really close friends. He helped me get through all the harsh times and the ugly despondency that’s called life. He helped me get smarter, stronger and wiser. I still don’t know his origins or even if it’s healthy to break away from reality like that, but I know it’s safe. My safe, happy place is here with Erik.

‘’I really want to make you remember. I’d do anything. Just so you could see ourselves the way I perceive us.’’

‘’I understand. But bit by bit and little steps…’’

‘’And we can build your memory once again. Yeah, I taught you that.’’ he smiled and got up.’’ As soon as my headache and bleeding stops, I’ll create another human. A better one, more complex and more passionate about my cause.’’

‘’Sure Erik, but what happened to the little girl?’’

‘’Do you really wanna hear what I did to her?’’ he said and looked at me with a creepy expression. ’’I threw her away, I made sure she would stay in pitch darkness for the rest of her existence. I’ll use some pieces of her if I need to. She deserves it, for being umperfect and a little useless piece of my deformed mind.’’

I close my eyes and almost instantaneously I see the lifeless body hanging around Erik’s room. He always had a problem with that. Crossing the line when it comes to things that don’t come out as perfect as he wants them to be. Being a creation of his own mind must be terrifying, since you never know when you’re not perfect and aesthetic anymore. Taking into account that he larva boy attacked me and somehow committed suicide after that (by exploding its head) he took his frustration and anger out on the girl, who didn’t dare to save me from that disgusting scene.

‘’Uh… alright. Well...how did you get the headache?’’

‘’Woke up bleeding, so I tried to bandage my head and avoid dying-did you hear that?’’ he said as he got closer to me.

Just when I turned around to detect the source of the sound, I smelled the awful scent of tomato soup.

‘’N-not that again…’’

The ground started shaking and getting sticky and just in a few seconds the tomato soup was inundating the forest, eating all the beautiful aspects of nature that Erik had been struggling so much to create. Before we even thought of a plan to escape, we were already swimming in tomato soup.

‘’Don’t let go of my hand, Coria. Got it?’’

‘’Y-yeah.’’I stuttered, trying not to panic when I felt something biting off the skin on my legs. ’’Am I the only one getting bitten here?’’ I screamed as I struggled to get rid of whatever was eating me.

‘’Not this time!’’ screamed Erik as well.’’ So, what’s the plan?’’

‘’We make ourselves some weapons before the soup turns into gastric acid. I expect that since I’ve been throwing up all the soup every night.’’

Suddenly I hear a door cracking open.

‘’Ethan’s already back?’’ I asked and looked around. The soup that once has been eating everything is gone, as well as the monsters that were biting off the skin.

‘’Who the hell is Ethan?’ ’asked Erik but before I could answer him, the smell of the food wakes me up.

I wake up and instinctively check out to see if I do have any scars on my legs. Fortunately enough, my legs are just fine.

‘’Don’t worry, your legs didn’t create a mind of their own and ran away while you were asleep. Seems crazy, but legs don’t usually do that, Coria.’’ said Ethan in teasing tone and placed some bags on the table.

‘’Woaaaahh, really? I cannot believe my ears, Ethan. I thought they finally ran away and I might have to ask you for some spare legs. Thank God I don’t have to make any kinds of deals with you.’’

‘’…that was just mean. After I snuck out to get you some real food…Guess I gotta eat all these goodies by myself ...’’ he whined, showing me the bag full of sweets, snacks and all the stuff I’m craving for.

‘’…I can always take my words back.’’

‘’That’s what I thought.’’

I took small bites from every single thing Ethan bought me. I enjoyed all the tastes, the colorful explosion of flavor popping in my mouth, melting my hearth away. I love food and I’ve always loved to eat and experience new kinds of flavor, especially spicy food. Mother never cooked really well, always trying to torture me with uncooked meat and burned potatoes. She never let me buy sweets nor fast food. It was some sort of privilege and I only got to eat good stuff when I scored the highest grades. That and many other experiences determined me to always be the first in my class, no matter the difficulties at home.

‘’Someone was really really hungry.’’ said Ethan with a smile.

Ugh. He bought me all of these, now I’m in debt.

‘’I’ll pay you off these, I promise.’’ I said with a serious expression, then gave him the last bag of snacks.

‘’Ohh, but I could never accept the money or services from such a pretty girl as you.’’

‘’So you’re into less sociably acceptable looks. I can respect that.’’

‘’Uh…that’s not what I meant. Nevermind. When you feel like going to powder your nose and stuff like that, tell me and I’ll call Anna. Until then, how shall we spent our time together, Coria?’’

‘’Ohh I know a game. It’s called, turn around, stop talking or keeping eye contact with me. I’m sure you’re very good at playing this.’’

‘’I’d suggest stop being a brat and show some respect, but I think its difficulty is way too high for you.’’

‘’Do you even play games?’’

‘’I’m an encyclopedia when it comes to games. I started playing when I was around four. I even got the old times with those games on the TV. Those were some good times.’’

‘’How old are you?’’

‘’I’m 22. Why asking?’’

‘’Aren’t you a little too young to be working in an asylum?’’

‘’I skipped some years. I was a real nerd during middle school and even in high school.’’

I thought he’d be a least 26. He looks really young though, which may be an advantage for me. Maybe I could persuade him into being my informant. But that’s just an idea. He’s just playing tricks on me now, trying to get to my sweet side.  
I wish I could manipulate people like that.

After two hours of non-stop talking, I went out with Anna, one of the nurses, to ‘’powder my nose’’ and get a bath. The hallways are clean and seems like the person who runs this place is deeply interested in the aesthetic aspect of this asylum. They do want us, the rats trapped here, to look presentable, clean and beautiful. It’s been around six days and I probably took a bath in the first day, which was very confusing. I still remember nothing about it and about the dark room.

Walking down the hallway, I had enough time to observe the nurse next to me. She may seem petite and skinny, but she is just athletic and has a well based muscle mass. She hides it, wearing bigger sized clothes. She is also silent, not trying to impress or persuade me with words. That’s dangerous, cause I might never know what’s going on inside her head. Maybe they brought her here just to catch the rats trying to escape and dealing with basic responsibilities.

I also noticed a bobby pin in her blonde hair, something I might need later in case my plan takes a sudden turn. I quickly think of something before we get to the bathroom…that’s right! My long bangs will finally be useful. After a few attempts, trying to get my hair to cover one of my eyes, she stopped in front of me and she pinned my hair in place.

You foolish person.

I took a bath and relaxed my muscles. I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing once again how weak and skinny I am. I really need to put some weigh and gain some muscles, or else I’ll never get out of here. I also noticed how long’s my hair now, I used to keep it short. I also used to be less interested in my aspect, but I should be looking after myself, just in case I can’t manipulate people with words. I hope I won’t get to that point.

Anna gave me new clothes and braided my hair. She seems to be a delicate person, almost fragile. She also pays attention to details, cause she kept an eye on the bobby pin all the time. After I got to my room, I discreetly hid the bobby pin under the sheets. I’ll need to find a new place to hide my stuff, in case they’ll want to change the sheets and they probably do that once a month.

‘’How was the bath?’’ asked Ethan while packing up his things.

‘’Wonderful. Is someone else coming up to keep an eye on me tonight?’’

Usually, Ellen, the old a lady, used to stay with me until I fell asleep. There were also people patrolling the hallways, in case we tried to escape.

‘’Just one day and you already want me gone? How cruel.’’

‘’Sensitive boy.’’ I muttered and tried to get comfortable in that unstable hospital bed.

Ethan sat next to me in a chair and started reading a book, occasionally making small talk and checking to see if I needed anything.  
Eventually I fell asleep, breathing less often and harder.

II

‘’I’m not myself anymore.’’

I feel something grabbing my arm and I struggle to resist but I’m not conscious, I can’t see anything nor hear. My senses are all dead and futile.  
Someone is undressing me and no matter how much I’m trying to move my body, a hand grabs and yanks my hair to stop me from moving. My arms are forced to hug my body and before I even realize, they probably made me put on a straitjacket. Times stops, my pupils dilate and I can finally see.

The first thing I saw were my feet dragging on the floor. I panic and look around, recognizing the hallway.

‘’They’re dragging my numb body to the dark room. They’ll make rotten meat out of me.’’ I whisper and feel the tears flowing down my burning cheeks. I’m scared. I have no information about this situation and no possible way to escape. I’m forcing myself not to cry and I try to control the rhythm of my breathing.

I look up and I see the fluorescent tubes burning my eyes, flashing faster and faster and I feel sick and uneasy. It’s useless to try and speak up for myself. At least I’m awake, I’m aware and I can make use of the miserable scenery I’m going to attend in a few seconds.  
Suddenly the nurse picks me up and helps me stand up on my own feet. I don’t even have the time to take a glance at her, because she pushes me in the room and closes the door with a big squeaky sound. Everyone turns around and stares at me, observing my body, driven by lust and disgust.

My body is shrinking and I stand in a defensive position, analyzing every person with a high potential of harming me. The room is considerably immense, filled with chairs made out of metal, facing each other. There are other children here as well, all looking younger than me. In front of me is a big transparent window, where two women, one with dark long hair and green eyes, holding a laptop and one with white short hair and wearing red contact lenses are both giving instructions, speaking in front of a microphone.

‘’Ahh, there you are lovely girl. I’m gonna make you feel like God today. ’’said a tall and massive guy and grabbed half of my face with his huge hand, leading me to one of the chairs.

C-calm down, Coria. Don’t freak out just yet….

I look at the girl next to me, crying with hiccups and calling for her mother. She’s not older than five. I try not to snap, I try not to get affected by that. I bite my lips and close my eyes, hearing all the individuals crying, screaming, begging for mercy. They’re all freaking children!!They were all sold, they all got here because their parents got bored of their children, decided they must pay for existing, making their first experience on this planet a torture filled with question marks and drugs and malnutrition. They’re all so skinny, I can see their bones outlining the miserable conditions they had to go through.

‘’Why close your eyes, big girl? Just look around, admire the beautiful picture while you still can.’’ said the guy again and obliges me to open my eyes.

A few chairs away from me stands a girl with a blank expression. Judging by her eyes, she’s blind.

Great, they even got disabled people in this mess.

Her hair is white and her skin is pale as well. She might be suffering from albinism. Poor beautiful child. Confused and scarred, traumatized in one place, not moving an inch and barely breathing. In front of her, pinned in one place with rope is a boy, looking a little older, about 16. He’s struggling violently, screaming, cursing, spitting and biting, doing everything he can in order to keep the doctor away. His face is full of scars and acne, he’s probably too stubborn to give up.

‘’Alright. Is everyone ready? Today we’ll test the effects of ‘’Malum’’ on our subjects.’’ said the woman with white hair, her voice shaking with pleasure and enjoyment. ’’I expect the reports on my desk as soon as the experiment is over.’

The guy called Frank, as I heard a doctor calling him, started undressing me to the point where one of my hands is tied to the chair with a belt, almost stopping my blood circulation. I notice a small machine next to my chair, probably recording my heartbeats and anything related to that and a small table, with a syringe containing a green liquid, the drug called ‘Malum’.  
I take small grasps of air and I mentally prepare myself for what’s going to happen next. I’m suffering from the fear of needles and just the thought of that sharp needle entering my skin and ripping my flesh apart gives me chills. I feel like I’m going to throw up any second now. 

‘’Ready for a nice trip to Wonderland? ’’asked Frank as he quickly injected the syringe in my arm.

That bastard…I…didn’t..even have time to..react..

With my last reserve of energy, I take a glance at the window. I see the white haired woman talking to a boy…a..a boy with purple dyed hair and blue eyes…a boy I know as Ethan..  
I feel dizzy. Really really dizzy and I... that’s funny. Everything is really fast nowadays. You’re born, the world hates you, the sky is pissing on you and before you even have the chance to do something, you end up in an asylum, diagnosed with D.I.D and severe depression. Me? I’m the happiest person ever. I’m always laughing mother, can’t you see how happy and dizzy I am? How dizzy and uneasy is everyone around here? And these bastards, Frank or Fred or whatever his name is, they’re all loving their work, don’t they?

How much I’d like to be like them. Obsessed over something, maniacally laughing when someone else’s in pain. I had to be born emphatic. An emphatic, little rat.

No thoughts and no prayers. They don’t care anyway. They want us to strike a pose and smile. Silent. The body count is on their hands and they don’t care. Why would they? They’re the one playing the game and we’re just the pawns. They can always, always replace us. We’re like rats, no one needs us. No one prays for our well -being, because we’re disposable.  
Why? Why can’t I have the same chances as you? Why do I have to be a schizophrenic freak? Why is my mother like that? Never loved me, never hugged me, never said ‘I’m glad you exist.’. I never asked to exist, I never asked for this.

I wanna throw up so badly and melt in my own vomit. I can’t remember if I do need to remember anything. These kids…they’re crying so loudly. Stop. It’s not like they’ll feel bad if you cry. Oh wait, I’m crying as well.  
It hurts. My arm hurts. My body is wet, I probably threw up. I knew I’d do that. That’s a nice thing to do.  
It’s really dark in here, are my eyes even open? I dunno, I can’t feel them. I can’t feel anything.  
Pause. Pause this for a second.

I finally open my eyes again. I open and close my mouth several times, so I could feel my muscles moving. I bite my tongue, so I know I’m alive. I slowly move my head and look to the right. Everyone seems destroyed. I’m not the only one who threw up as well. I see the white-haired woman, checking on every child, probably asking for a quick conclusion.  
But it’s weird, she seems to be performing some sort of steps. Is she testing our sanity and consciousness? 

Quick, quick, I need to remember!

She gets to my chair.

‘’Ugh. Another one who has vomit all over themselves.’’

Well thanks lady, tell me something I don’t know.

She observed me with her intense and dreadful glare, making me anxious and clearly inferior. She is dominating the game. She’s the one who decides which pawn shall be sacrificed for the sake of others and which one shall be protected and treated like a royal blood. 

She’s tall, almost as tall as Ethan, probably around 1.80cm. Another thing that caught my attention besides the eyes is her posture and the scars she has all over her hands, especially the right hand. It looks like her whole hand was set on fire a long time ago, leaving behind a red scar which she’s obviously trying to hide. The other one has little cuts, but I’m not sure if she’s doing it because of the stress and the pressure or because she had an accident. She might also be suffering from some sort of mania or OCD, but that’s highly improbable. Her posture says it all. She’s relaxed, confident and strict. She’s also dominant and might be having a high position in this asylum, something like a director. 

She sights and turns to Frank.

‘’Were there any issues during the test? She wasn’t such a bother to you, was she?’’ she asked, giving me a cold side glance.

‘’N-no, Miss Clair. She was quite cooperative and submissive. It’ll be a piece of cake to run the tests on her.’’

‘’I see. If she keeps on having a good behavior, I demand you to bring her to my office.’’

‘’Y-yes, Miss Claire.’’

They’re sharing information right in front of my very eyes. Heh, they are underestimating me way too much. She should’ve noticed that something might be wrong just from the way I behave. Trust me Claire, quiet people have such a chaos in their heads, precisely searching for a way to destroy you. I might be submissive now, but trust me, you’ll obey me with such inferiority and modesty when I’ll cut your throat open and pull all your teeth out. You’re all going to die like heroes, burning alive and finally making me feel warm.  
She asks Frank a few other questions and leaves, making me wonder about her intentions and most importantly, about the relationship she has with Ethan. If they are in good terms with each other, that means Ethan could be the key to my escape. He clearly holds so much useful information inside his small brain, but how can I make him confess his secrets to me? How shall I manipulate him into being my informant? I need to think about this.

After a few empty minutes, a nurse comes to my chair and helps me stand up. I quickly recognize that blonde hair and I let out a sigh of relief. Anna takes me to my room, cleans the vomit off my face and gives me new clothes. She wants to change the sheets as well but I pretend to be overly exhausted and she lets me rest.  
I lay in bed for a couple of seconds until she leaves, then I start looking for a new place to hide my items. The room I’m in is small, having one window, a bed, two cabinets, a sink, a table, two chairs and a hanger. I shouldn’t try to open the cabinets now with the paper clip, because I don’t have enough time. I have to find something quick, before Ethan or Anna comes back to check on me. The table, the hanger and the sink are useless now. Maybe I can still hide them under the bed or something like that.

I crouch and look under the bed for potential places to keep my things, then I instantly remember that’s a hospital bed. Of course! The legs of these beds are usually empty inside, which means I can just hide them there. I get the spoon I stole from Ellen and I lift the edge of the bed with one hand. Well, it’s …quite heavy. 

I put all my force into that while I try to scoop out the small plastic piece that’s under the leg. I suddenly hear a voice and I tremble out of fear. Crap! I get the paper clip, the bobby pin, the shoelace and put them there. I remember about the soup can’s lid I stole some days ago and I panic. How am I going to make that fit the small place…Uhhh, I know! I take the blanket from the bed and I try to bend the lid without cutting my hands. I hear the voice getting closer and I feel my body shacking out of fear. 

‘’T-that should fit…’’I whispered and tried to move faster.

I put all my items in the bed’s leg, including the spoon. It’ll be easier to scoop the piece out now with my bare hands, I shouldn’t worry. I get in the bed and try to calm now.  
It’s alright, you did it Coria! You smart girl! I hear the door cracking and the purple haired boy comes in.

‘‘Uh… why aren’t you sleeping?’’

I guess it’s past 4 am. Indeed, I’d really love to get some rest, but there are still things to take care of. Maybe now’s the best time to run a little experiment on Ethan. Just put a mask on and act.  
I bow my head and start sobbing like a little girl. I finally let out all my anger and tension and I start crying.

‘H-hey…are you alright?’’ he said with an uncertain voice and got closer to me.

‘I…I can’t sleep…I…they did something to me…I can’t just close my eyes…I’m scared Ethan…’’I sobbed and sniffed, then I wipe off my tears.

‘’I’m sorry…if there’s anything I could do to help…’’

‘’My…my teddy bear…it always calms me down…’’I said and suddenly grabbed Ethan by his shirt then I looked at him with my eyes full of tears.

‘’Do you want me to get your teddy bear? Aren’t you kinda old for that?’’

Bastard. Maybe I’m not convincible enough.

‘’I… got it from my father when I was eight. It helped me to feel safe when I had nightmares….I..I think they took it from me when I arrived here…but I don’t know exactly where they put it…’’I whispered and tried to seem as vulnerable as ever.

‘’They probably stored it with the rest of your belongings … I think I know where I can find it’’

‘’R-really? Would you please please please bring it to me?’’ I said and sighed softly.

‘’Sure.I’ll sign some papers and get your teddy bear tomorrow, alright? I’m here now and you are safe.’’ he said with a smile, totally falling for my cheap acting.

I take him by surprise and give him a hug, just to make sure he’ll do as I say. He hugs me back and I embrace him a little tighter. That’s meant as a symbol of my appreciation, well…it should be if I really gave a crap about him.  
After some minutes, he breaks the silence and says I need to get some rest. I slowly lay in bed and instantaneously a sharp pain passes through my back, my legs feeling like guillotines attached to my body. I don’t get my eyes off him until I fall asleep, so the act won’t abruptly stop.

I quickly fall asleep, feeling more than exhausted.  
.  
.  
.  
Noises, everything’s creaking and obnoxious high-pitched voices are repetitively calling my name. Is this an earthquake? Should I wake up again? … but my body is numb, old, relentlessly trembling, feeling like a moth-eaten cloth, out of use.  
I turn to the other side of the bed, ignoring the noises. I exhale and try to calm down, but I feel so anxious and stressed and I can’t quite understand why. My skin feels itchy and the weight of another being is suffocating me. How? Something is crawling on my back, cutting my skin with something sharp, like a piece of broken glass, breathing in my ear, telling me I ought to open my eyes and pay a visit to my friend.

I get up and look around, searching for the creature who’s been disturbing my sleep. I swallow hard and blink, then shook my head.

‘There’s nothing here. Please Coria, overcome this depletion and go back to sleep.’’ I told myself, trying to tackle the problem.

But every time I closed my eyes it was the same. Same scary sensation and my lack of energy made it worse. It felt as if my heart was dwindling, as if I lost all my logical patterns. 

‘’There’s no proof to stand your statement. There’s nothing here that needs an explanation. Please, fall asleep.’’

And I repeated that, every time I felt the creature getting closer I said that mantra until it got so worse I couldn’t even close my eyes. I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear its jaws and tusks munching parts of me. I don’t want to hear its mumblings ever again.

But I can’t go to that place if he doesn’t want to.  
I close my eyes again and a soppy taste is invading my mouth.  
I woke up in my safe place.

But there’s no forest anymore. I observe the new setting. The floor and walls are made of glass. Beneath the transparent floor I can distinguish samples filled with blue, red and green liquid, dead sparrows and barbed wire. This doesn’t seem to be inspired from reality.

In front of me lays a body, in an abnormal position, his shirt stained with blood, hiding himself with one hand, the other one being all bloody. Erik… Someone did THAT to him.  
I want to rush and bang his wounds but something stops me from doing that reckless action. What if I take a wrong step and the glass breaks? We can’t truly know what’s hiding in that barbed wire. There could be countless monsters lurking in there, cutting themselves and waiting for a delicious pray to come their way and satisfy their needs. I don’t want to end up like that sparrow, dying with its eyes opened, their view being blurry and darker, dying slowly in torture. I don’t want to do that to us.

‘’Erik?’’ I call his name to see if he’s conscious, but I get no response. I take one step forward and parts of the floor are cracking.

Such an inconvenience.  
My movement seems to have triggered some sort of reaction, because countless coiled thin ropes with markers attached to them are now haphazardly tossing around. How is that even feasible? Did Erik do that?? 

The markers are of different colors, each one having something written on them, some symbols, even small drawings. Is this a puzzle? Perhaps I don’t need to touch them yet.  
I get close to one of the markers and suddenly I hear Erik coughing, trying to wake up and turn his face to me.

‘’Erik, d-did you do all of this? Is this one of your sick jokes?’’ I ask, angrily demanding an explanation. I swear if he planned this charade …

Parts of the floor are breaking again. Perhaps it was his fault because he moved too quickly.  
I exhale and try to get to him, walking on my tip toes, but he inquisitively shakes his hands, miming the word ‘No’ over and over again.  
I don’t understand. He doesn’t want me to talk or…

He mimes the words again, saying ‘Black’ and desperately waiting for my response. He must be referring to the markers. I nod and start looking around for the black marker. I move slowly and the glass isn’t breaking anymore. That’s why he’s miming the words. The glass is breaking only when we talk!  
I find the market and look at Erik for some confirmation. He’s encouraging me to take it. I grab the market and observe the details on it. The word ‘Malum’ is written all over it. I guess this was inspired from reality after all.

I get close to Erik and give him the market. I deeply stare at him, several emotions mixing in my head, feeling my cheeks burning once again.  
I’m usually tough, but this time…these events really got to me. Too much in such short amount of time and I need to think and persuade and solve puzzles. Right when I thought I accomplished something, I find myself questioning almost every action. My endeavor might be pointless every time.

Erik is observing me, tears pouring down from his chocolate eyes as he writes down on the floor a message for me. He writes with his right hand, but he’s left-handed. Well… that hand is covered in blood and I’m not sure if he’ll ever write with it again. I look down at my clothes and try to rip off some cloth to wrap his wounded hand. He stops and lets me bandage it, trembling every time I touch his skin. I wish I could do more. But I’m out of energy and every thought hurts. Forcing myself to create something might make me wake up. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to get back here again.  
He finishes writing and lets me read the message.

‘’My dear Coria, I’m afraid to tell you several problems are impatiently awaiting us. THERE ARE SIGNS EVERYWHERE. They are infecting us and every time you leave this place, they’re coming back to me. This corruption…this… this lack of control makes me scared and I can’t find any explanations. I wish I could talk but they hear us. They’re hunting us, me and your thoughts…our thoughts. You need to find a safe place for your memories and hide from this hell as much as you can.’’

For the first time in many years, I can hardly believe my eyes. I read the message, blink and look right into Erik’s eyes.

‘’Who the bloody hell they think they are, huh?’’ I scream and quickly get up. The glass is almost breaking but I get the market from Erik’s hand and write down in block letters ‘FUCK OFF!’. I help him get up as his face is turning ghostly white. He never saw me that angry. I used to be very calm all the time. But that’s absurd.

‘’You hear me, corruption? Welcome to my brain, come take a seat so I can slap your face!’’ I scream and try to create a way to escape this room. ’’Ugh…u-unbelievable…’’ I say as I gasp for air but never look down. I take Erik by his hand and I lead him to the light cracking through the walls.

‘’ Can you be any reckless than that?’’ he says, still trembling.

‘’I can, but let’s be decent human beings…well at least me. Shall we find a way to escape, together?’’

‘’How, Miss I don’t care about rules and the state I’m in?’’

‘’I’m not able to do anything by myself, because you’re right, I can barely stand on my own two feet. But that’s my mind after all… and you’re still here! You’re still safe and we can help each other.’’ I said and smiled, hugging him tightly. ‘’You have no idea how worried I was.’’

‘’I... I could say the same. They got you in that weird place…and I lost control. I couldn’t sense what they were doing to you and your mind didn’t allow me to make use of anything. It considered me a threat…that didn’t happen in such a long time.’’

‘’Well… right now we could use an exit and a place to treat your wounds and rest. I recommend a hospital room or something.’’  
‘’What do you suggest?’’ 

‘’Come closer.’’ I said and touched his forehead with mine.

I’ve never really took my time to express my pure gratitude for having him by my side. It always seemed so natural… so simple, yet the complexity behind his existence has always been something I wanted to avoid. Is it just a defense mechanism? Have I created such a wonderful and lively being? I wish I could understand. I wish he could tell me. But the connection is too strong to ever break.

‘’We’ll try something new and observe its outcome. We’ll imagine the same thing at the same time and hopefully I won’t wake up. Sounds obtainable? ‘’

‘’As long as I won’t pass out, I’ll try my very best.’’

Our personalities are alike. Albeit the fact that he’s more immature, he’s always trying to protect me. His intellect is, beyond all doubt, way higher than mine, but I’m quicker and more skilled when it comes to people. He perceives them as organic things who flourish and die, I see them as tools, creations with a spectrum of colors.   
I take my time and try to concentrate. He’s looking straight into my eyes, piercing me with his intense stare. He’s more than exhausted. He’s nearly destroyed. 

‘’I’ll count to three.’’ He said and closed his eyes.

I count in my head, then I focus on the room, the space, the furniture and the objects. I feel a sharp pain, my mind aching and I almost lose my balance, but Erik catches me and holds me close, letting me rest on his shoulder.   
I open my eyes and confusion kicks in. It’s a hospital room, but everything is mixed up, colors splashed on the walls, different mutations are lurking around, and everything has different shapes or sizes.

‘’So that happens when we combine our imaginations…’’says Erik, looking confused as well, his eyes sparkling with excitement. 

He’s has always been very creative. He loved innovations, technology, abstract views on life and everything weird, edgy, unloved, characterized as ‘’ugly’’ or ‘’broken’’. I think he sees himself in these things. No matter how much I tried, he never felt normal. 

‘’It’s not what I initially expected, but it’s alright for now.’’ I said and started searching for something to treat his wound.

He laid on the bed, covering his face with his right hand. 

‘’Soo… who’s Ethan?’’ he says in a teasing tone, making me feel awkward. 

I should choose my words wisely, he never let me get too close to any boy without scolding me, pinching me, saying he’ll find the guy, stalk him and lock him in the basement if he dares to hurt me.

‘’ He’s just the person responsible of taking care of me.’’

‘’…I see. How do you plan to take him out? Maybe we can, like, suffocate him to death? Or poison him? But where could we find poison….’’

‘’I don’t want to kill him…yet. I want to persuade him into being my informant.’’

‘’ You wanna seduce him first, then murder him in the most gruesome way possible?’’ he says, laughing like a child.

‘’No, I don’t want to kill anyone…yet. Let’s just treat your wound.’’ I muttered, then tried my best to change the bloody cloth, without causing too much pain. He bites his lip, saying he’s alright, but I know how much it hurts.

When I was 13, I broke my left arm. My mother didn’t want to take me to the hospital, so I had to deal with intense pain, until she finally decided to get me to a doctor.  
He had to break my arm again, and I’ve never cried so much in my entire life. She blamed me, saying I hid it from her. Little did the doctor know how much I begged to get to the hospital. How much pain I had to keep inside my small body. How much I had changed after that incident. 

‘’Well…it doesn’t look that awful.’’ I said and threw away the bloody cloth then helped him change his shirt. ‘’Maybe I could try to heal it before I wake up…’’ I thought to myself, taking into consideration all the consequences. 

I don’t to leave him alone with that corruption. He didn’t bring up the topic, I guess he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. But I need some answers, some validation, some guidance. I need to know enough to be able to prepare for the next shot. I need a strategy and some time.

‘’Could you… perhaps… tell me more about that corruption and how it behaves?’’

‘’I suppose I should, even if I’d love to be able to handle it all myself…’’ he muttered, glancing at the splashed colors on the wall. ‘’Unfortunately, I won’t be able to provide too much info about this corruption. I don’t know exactly what triggered it, but I have some theories. Are you following?’’

‘’Always.’’ I nodded and got closer to him.

‘’ Okay. So… I was working on some stuff and I was wondering around carrying some thoughts when suddenly I felt a strong headache piercing my head. I felt to the ground and the view was darkening and my head was feeling like it’d explode any second. I closed my eyes and felt my heart beating in clear silence. I open my eyes and my forest is gone. I worked a year on that…and it was gone in a blink of an eye. My headache was gone so I started looking around. I wanted to access some of your thoughts but your mind thought I’m a threat and I had to outrun some freaking beasts! Beasts, my dear Coria! Why did you choose such guardians...?’’

‘’ What about your hand?’’

‘’ After I got rid of the beasts, which took a while… I felt as if someone was staring at me. Another intense headache and shadows were lurking. It was my fault that I tried to get in contact with them. They attacked me with no hesitation and for a moment I heard your voice. I lost my balance and they got a chance to attack me again. The room was constantly changing and I had no chance to counterattack.’’

‘’ That’s…off. My mind used to be a safe place… I didn’t allow any bad thoughts to be rooted in my head.’’

‘’I know, dear … I don’t think we are the problem. I think the environment is.’’

‘’ So, what are we going to do?’’

‘’ Let’s focus on small things first. You’ll wake up any second now. I’ll rest and try my best to keep your mind safe until you go to sleep again, alright?’’

‘’ Yes Erik, but there was something else I wanted to try.’’ I said and took his wounded hand in mine. If I got here sooner…

I kiss his hand, feeling some sort of guilt, then slowly close my eyes. This time I’ll wake up for sure.

‘’Take care.’’ I whispered and used all my force and concentration to heal his hand, praying at the same time for his safety. 

I open my eyes and I’m the same, slightly uncomfortable hospital bed. I yawn and rub my eyes multiple times. I can’t really say I slept well. 

Ethan comes in with a big box in his hands, smiling and humming some sort of melody.

‘’How did the little baby sleep last night without her teddy bear?’’ he said, in a baby-tone voice.

Ugh, don’t tell me I must keep this charade going on.

‘’ Not that well, Ethan…’’ 

‘’ Well, that changes today.’’ He said and took out my old teddy bear from the box.

A white teddy bear with a red ribbon around its neck and two black buttons as eyes.

I can’t say I’m not surprised. I’m filled with nostalgy. I love this object with all my heart. I hid all my essence, all my secrets and memories in this plushie. I whispered all my fears and hugged it when I felt cold and lifeless. This object kept my sanity together for so many years…I’m really grateful it’s still intact.  
I stretched my hands, filled with the urge to embrace my teddy bear, but Ethan takes it away, staring at me with clear satisfaction. He got my weakness.

‘’ So impolite. Aren’t you a lady, Coria?’’

‘’Ugh… thank you?’’ I said, trying to keep my cool down. 

‘’Kids these days…so ungrateful.’’ He sights and gives me the teddy bear.

I wrap my arms around it and hug it tightly. I smile, feeling better than ever.

As soon as he leaves I can take my things out of the leg of the table and hide them all here. I can finally start keeping evidence of everything I’ve got so far. I have a small notebook inside it so I could-  
‘’Open it.’’ Says Ethan with a serious glance, his harsh voice making me shiver. 

Does…does he know about the hidden objects in the teddy bear? But…that’s impossible! There’s no way he searched inside of it-

‘’Now, or else I might get mad.’’ He says, waiting for a response.

Mudak! T-that’s bad, bad, bad! I must improvise quick! I’ll…I’ll just play dumb. He’ll give up on this!

*Mudak=asshole in Russian*

‘’Excuse me, Ethan? But I don’t quite understand your request? Mind you explain it to me?’’

‘’Aww so you don’t know, huh? Guess Mr. Teddy Bear will have to get back in its box and be thrown away if you don’t play nice.’’ He said, giggling and smirking like an idiot. 

‘’But I don’t understand…’’

‘’Well…plushie won’t understand either when I’ll burn him in my backyard. I’ll get pictures for you if you want to. They don’t really care about your stuff anyway.’’ 

His voice is cold and somehow sensual. His blue eyes like infinite waves of the ocean, they stare into mines, making me feel like I’ll meet my end, drowning in them. He takes immense satisfaction from that. Playing with others, being superior.  
There’s no use pretending anymore. He knows my secret and he just wants to make me pay for it. For trying to use him.

I sigh and get the ribbon off the plushie, showing the white zipper around its neck. This teddy bear had always been so important because no one suspected or thought it’s suspicious. It was innocent and the best hiding place until Ethan destroyed my plans with a bright smile on his face.

I snuck my hand down its throat, searching for my things. A notebook with a pencil, a photo, a penknife, some accessories, an old cellphone, matches, rat poison and gloves…they’re all gone!!  
All I can grab is something like a piece of paper. He got rid of all my stuff. He was such a jerk to break my privacy like that!! Who knows what he really did with my stuff…burnt them or just threw them away like an indifferent, numb, unconcerned and careless manipulator he is.

I look at the piece of paper, then stare at Ethan for a couple of seconds.  
He grins like an idiot. 

I sigh then read the message on the paper.  
Dear Coria,  
NOPE.  
-Ethan :>

He did not just do that. He put so much pressure on me just for this stupid piece of paper?! Just for literally four words? And it’s not even something funny!

I look back at Ethan, filled with rage and frustration, thinking how nice it’d be to just wrap my fingers around his neck and put all my force into it until he turns bright blue!

''Eto absurdno! YA otomshchu. Glupyy medsestra.'' I whisper, my checks burning while I struggle to calm down.

If there’s anything I’m good at, that would most probably be speaking fluent Russian. I’ve been learning it since I was just six years old. My grandpa was Russian and every time I visited him, he took the time to teach me and tell me short stories in this language. 

For some unknown reason, my mother didn’t like when I talked in Russian so I had to avoid talking when she was around. I hid all my books and spent countless hours in the library, self-teaching it when my grandpa died.

*This is absurd. I will get my revenge. Stupid nurse*

''Excuse me? ''Says Ethan confused.

Idiot. Of course, he doesn’t speak Russian. How favorable is this for me.

''You may be excused, litsemer. How did you figure it out?''  
*Litsemer=hypocrite*

''Huh? Well, it was obvious. I’m disappointed Coria. I had expected more from you. And the funny part is that I know you for just two days and I was still able to figure it out. Your eyes can’t really lie.  
''You’re just not the type to act like a baby, to seek emotional support and affection from someone else that easily.''

''Are you going to make my existence harder from now on?'' I asked, feeling some sort of remorse. I should’ve thought of this more. Now I have to pay the consequences of my reckless action.

''I could. But I’m not going to. It’d be tiring if you hated me more than you do now. That doesn’t make me soft as a plushie though. I won’t hesitate to punish Coria if Coria tries to trick me again, you understand?'' He says as he gets a chair closer to my bad and takes a sit.

''What about my stuff? Will…will I ever get them back?''

''Ohh suuree! I’ll make sure to give you the rat poison back because that’d be a smart choice. I’d love some rat poison in my tea instead of sugar, why not?''

''Well, at least rat poison isn’t as addictive as sugar….'' I pout, while I’m thinking at a good comeback.

''Maybe cause you die quicker than-'' He says, but the sound of my stomach grumbling interrupts him.'' I should take you to the canteen.''

''This asylum has a canteen? I thought the nurses bring you only tomato soup.''

''Neah, that was Ellens thing. You were pretty unlucky to have her as your nurse. Many children who had her suffered from intense stomachache because she refused to give them anything else other than soup. It lasted until Claire found out about it but she still did that sometimes.''

''Oh, I can relate to the stomachache… ''

'' I’ll call Anna to help you get dressed and stuff then we’ll get to the canteen, alright?''

''Yes. Look…I know you won’t get my things back, but could you at least take care of them? At least the penknife and the photo? I deeply care about them.''

'' I can give you back stuff like the notebook or the photo. I don’t expect you to cut my throat with a photo yet.'' He smiles cheerfully at me, then he goes out to call Anna.

I sigh and stare into nothing, trying to recall all the events that had happened these days. So many things are going on now and I must keep track of every and each one of them. Will I really get out of here with my mind intact?

I wish I could be as cheerful as him.

Anna comes in with new clothes and helps me change. She has a small scar near her mouth and she seems a little clumsy. I wonder what caused that.  
I don’t even have time to chat with her, because Ethan grabs my arm and takes me to the canteen.

White walls and dizzy hallways. No windows, just some calendars and obnoxious paintings. There are some sofas and tables with books and flowers, though there’s no sign of people ever staying there. The smell of medicinal alcohol, stale air and blood is piercing my nose, making me unsteady. Ethan walks way too close to me and holds my hand with such force, he could stop the blood circulation in that hand any second. I just want to eat something and get some fresh air soon.

I get to the canteen, a big room with several round tables, four big windows and some nurses looking around for misbehaving children. There is also a big table, some showcases exposing different types of food and some women serving something from a big pot. I swear if that’s soup I’ll just starve and die.

Everything seems clean and quiet.

‘’See that table? Go get a plate and join the queue. You’ll get served there.’’ Says Ethan and gives me a push into the room. ’’I’ll pick you up later.’’

I take another look at the whole room, scanning for useful objects or people I know. I quickly recognize two children, the girl with albinism and the violent guy I saw when they drugged us. Maybe I’ll get them to talk to me and share what they know. It’s worth trying.

‘’Ohh are you disorientated? Let me help you.’’ Says a nurse and guides me to the queue. ‘’ Here, take this plate and when it’s your turn, ask for a menu 1,2 or 3, alright?’’

‘’Yes, ma’am. Thank you.’’

Surprisingly, I’m the tallest. There are a bunch of kids waiting in front of me, crying or talking about nonsense. I think I’m the only one with lucid thoughts as well. They drugged the hell out of them. No empathy for their integrity. 

I finally get my turn to order. I don’t have much time to think, cause a small kid starts punching me and screaming to move quicker. Such violent animals calling themselves human. I take menu 2, which consists of salad, mashed potatoes and steak. 

I’m surprised by the diversity of dishes. I though we’ll all get some mashed potatoes and maybe some water. Seems like Claire does really care about quality. I suppose they get by all the inspections with no problem.

I spot the table where the two distinct faces are staying and I walk quickly towards them, preparing a plan as to approach them with no drawbacks.

The girl is fed by the boy some soup, but his hands are trembling without control.

‘’Hello, could I take a seat?’’ I ask with a big smile on my face.

‘’No, all my imaginary friends are staying here.’’ says the boy with a cold voice.

‘’Should I ask one of them to give up a seat for me?”

‘’…. what the hell do you really want?’’ he asks aggressively.’’ I don’t have anything valuable on me, so get lost.’’

‘’Who’s there, Noah?’’ asks the blind girl.

‘’ An ugly girl…’’ says Noah, looking disgusted at me.

Little…  
Do I really have to go through this mockery with these two little rats?

‘’ You know what they say, Noah…liar liar pants on fire.’’ I say with a soft tone and wink.

‘’ Why don’t we let her sit with us? She seems funny’’ says the girl clapping her hands in approval.

‘’ Hmpf…are you sure Julie? She’s…weird.’’

‘’ Weird is not always bad.’’ I say as I finally take a seat. ‘’How old are you?’’

‘’….’’

He keeps quiet, having a disinterested look on his face.  
…Did I press any wrong buttons with this question?...

‘’Noah, it is not polite to avoid talking to another human being.’’ Says Julie and Noah suddenly has a sulky expression. ‘’Excuse him. I’m 14 years old and the splendid boy next to me is 16 years old.’’

‘’S-sorry Julie.’’

‘’ How does she look like? Can you describe her for me?’’ she asks, grabbing his shirt.

‘’ She’s…tall with brown long hair and big brown eyes. Her face is oval and she’s skinny. She wears hospital clothes, just like us. She has a beauty spot near her left eye. ‘’

‘’ Oh… how wonderful!’’ 

I smile as I watch them making small talk. He’s protective and careful around her and she seems out of this reality, clapping her hands, laughing, biting her nails and staring into nothing with her mouth wide open. I feel bad for them, I don’t even think they are truly aware of this place and why they’re here in the first place. 

‘’How long have you been here?’’ I ask and suddenly they both get quiet.

‘’We…don’t really keep track of time anymore…’’ says Julie while tearing parts of a napkin and placing them on the table while counting.’’ We don’t even know the year or the month.’’

‘’ …I see.’’

‘’ I guess it’s been over 3 years or something, but who really cares. It’s not like they’ll ever let us go home.’’ says Noah, biting a fork in anger. So that’s how he tries to control himself.

‘’ It’s around 26th November. I’ve been here for only a week.’’

‘’Heeh, then consider yourself lucky. They usually forget everything in the first week.’’

‘’ How do you know?”

‘’…someone has to know these things.’’ Says Julie as she quickly turns around.

’’ Terrific! The wicked is coming!’’

‘’Who?’’

‘’Olga.’’ Whispers Noah. ‘’Don’t talk or she’s gonna break your jaw.’’

I spot a tall woman approaching our table. She has short hair and big muscular arms. Were we too suspicious?  
Olga stares at me for a while, then she proceeds to get to our table, not taking her eyes off me the entire time.

‘’Why aren’t you eating?’’ she asks me while grabbing my arm with one hand. ’’Isn’t this good enough for you or what??’’

I completely forgot about the meal. Noah and Julie are eating very fast, not even taking the time to chew the food.

I bow my head down and keep quiet. I’d try to explain myself but she seems to be such a brute, I don’t even think she can actually process information and respond to it in a diplomatic matter.

‘’One mistake.’’ She whispers in my ear, her breath tickling my neck, making me uncomfortable. ‘’One more and you’re on the black list.’’

I hate being tickled.

I hold my breath and close my eyes. Will she hit me? But there are so many people around, especially nurses. And one of them seemed decent. She won’t, right?

‘’Rats.’’ She says and her hand is getting all tensed up, hurting my arm a little.

She finally gives in and I can hardly breathe. I held my breath for almost 2 minutes and the sensation itself gave me an anxiety attack. 

Why now? She didn’t even get to hurt me as much as she’d want to.

But it feels bad. Like really bad.

I sigh and feel the tears slowly flowing down my burning cheeks, triggering mixed emotions, memories, abusive behavior, eerie feelings trapped inside my head, blazing and broiling, hurting me.   
I’m weak.

I try to wipe the tears and hide my face and I fail miserably, my unmindful actions and trembling hands making everything fall on the floor tiles, except the plate and the napkin.

‘’I…’’

Before I have the chance to anticipate anything, the gloomy boy gets to my chair and stars grabbing all the stuff I mistakenly dropped down, keeping his emerald eyes away from me.  
Julie is looking around disorientated but she quickly stops, guiding her hands near my face while she’s listening to my quiet whisper.

I wanted to say sorry but never had the courage to.

‘’Oh my! Do not tell me a big girl like you is crying, are you? Such a cordial presence like yours, you must not be downed by Olga. She’s just absent minded and her stay won’t last much longer. Bear it, be merry!’’ she says, clapping her hands once again.

I sigh, confused.

Her vocabulary contains more epithets than I can even think of. And she’s only 14. Who taught her such weird words?  
I keep the same cheerless expression, trying to think of something to say.

’Noah, could you bring me some water?” Julie asks softly, making him to suddenly twitch as if he was caught in a trance.

She sensed that I’m not getting any better and she tried to be kind with me. But why? I’m a stranger, I might be useless to her. She’s blind, she can’t read me thought body language… but she still knew what was happening around her.

‘’S-sure.’’ says Noah and slowly gets the cup near her plate as if he didn’t understand exactly what she meant.

‘’You’ll have to excuse him, Coria. The drugs aren’t doing him any good lately. He’s a little lunatic from time to time, but you’ll get used to it.’’ She whispers and gets the cup of water from Noah. ‘’Here, drink and calm down.’’

She changed her personality in just five minutes. It’s no wonder though. With a seemingly disabled appearance as hers, she is probably more than a 14 years old blind girl.   
She acted so quickly, she sensed Olgas’ presence so fast. I didn’t even get to see her coming from the distance and I have two functional eyes for God’s sake!

She’s confusing but useful. And kind, too kind.

‘’Thanks Julie, I really did lose my calm…’’ I say, feeling ashamed. ‘’I should’ve been more alert.’’

‘’You’re new here, no worries. Soon you’ll get used to it and you’ll also know when someone leaves or if any other changes will take place around the asylum.’’ 

‘’ They underestimate us a lot, right?’’

‘’Yeah, those idiots think we don’t have a mind of our own anymore.’’ Says Noah, getting his plate. ‘’We should get these clean and go to our rooms.’’

‘’Yes Noah, it’s a good time to take a nap.’’ She says and grabs her plate as well. I feel like it’ll rain tonight. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? To hear the raindrops smashing into glass and dying?’’ she asks him as they both leave, but she quickly stops.

‘’Oh my! Where are my manners? Goodbye Coria, have a lovely day!’’ she says, waving a couple of times.

‘’Good bye.’’ I respond and finish eating.

III  
‘’Lovely girl.’’

I force myself to finish eating, even though I lost my appetite.

Deep in thought and still anxious, I get the empty plate and wash it. Apparently, everyone has to wash their own plate and tableware, which wouldn’t be a bad idea if they weren’t porcelain ones and if the children wouldn’t be so brutal. One of them threatened the nurses with a fork and almost gouged out one of his eyes when he heard no one gets dessert today.

‘Why did Claire get herself involved with such young kids?’ I asked myself, waiting for Ethan to come pick me up.

Probably cause they’re easy to manipulate. They don’t ask questions and demand answers. They are not aware, mature, they don’t cooperate with others and they are so afraid they’d never try to turn up against her.

Kids at this age are like clay. You can mold them according to your own individual wishes.

‘’Here you are.’’ Says a familiar voice. ‘’C’mon, I bet you don’t want to stay here any longer.’’

Indeed, he was right. I don’t want to see Olga patrolling among the tables, I don’t want to hear the children’s screaming, I simply need to stay in a quiet place for a while.

He grabs my left arm and I twitch in pain. That brute left a small bruise on my arm and it really hurts.

‘’Anndd how did you get this on your arm?’’ Ethan asks, holding my arm close to my face as to observe the pretty shade of red.

‘’Someone decided that I don’t know how to behave properly.’’ I say and I try as much as possible to avoid talking more about it.

Ethan notices my weird actions and he keeps quiet, asking if it’s necessary to aid it in any way.


End file.
